Going to Be Alright
by Raining Sky Guy
Summary: Kuroko Tetsuya has had inner issues since Teiko. He knows it's wrong but he can't seem to stop himself from having certain thoughts. One thing leads to another and he suddenly finds himself self-harming. Will he find a way to stop? Rating for themes, and language. Oneshot!


Title: Going to Be Alright

By Raining Sky Guy

**A/N**

**First time in this fandom, hey there!**

**Okay, just a little WARNING here, Kagami may seem a bit OoC because I didn't want to drag out a certain scene just because I had to deal with two stupid awkward teens. Not my fault he always acts so…like him…**

**Another WARNING: There's a big-assed time skip. I hope it's not too confusing.**

* * *

The first time around, Tetsuya had been scared.

As the small disposable blade bit into his skin, the boy jerked it away with an audible inhalation. And when he saw he hadn't done it properly, the disgust in himself was bigger.

Was he really such a coward?

Blade again poised on his wrist, trembling hand clenching it tightly, and with a sigh, the blade dug in.

Pain blossomed, but Tetsuya was mesmerized. The blood…it looked as if his blood were crying in his stead. He raised his hand and the precious liquid ran down, inking its red path unto his white skin.

Laughter bubbled inside him, first time in a while. The blood kept trickling down, past his elbow…

And fear choked the teal haired teen once again, laughter forgotten.

His sleeve was going to get stained if it continued. And it was bleeding too much. Was this supposed to be normal? Distractedly, he noticed he had left the blade embed inside his wrist.

He quickly pulled it out, laying it on a clean tissue. The blood kept flowing. He was careful to keep his arm inside the range of the sink, lest he stain something. The red liquid flowed freely. A fretting Tetsuya bent his wrist and pressed the wound with his other hand. The blood finally stopped. He sighed softly in relief as the pain continued to pulse along his heart. For once, a pain he could deal with.

After the initial scare, Kuroko was satisfied with the result. It had been messy and he had probably cut wrongly for it to bleed that much (he wasn't looking to kill himself after all). But, he had mused then, that just gave him more reasons to practice… And now there was a long gash that stated that he _could,_ that reminded him that…

That he wasn't dead. He could feel, he was there,

…he was _alive._

.

* * *

Kuroko had bought a pair of black sweatbands beforehand. But it would be weird and maybe suspicious if he suddenly had wristbands on the whole day. And being suspicious meant that he would draw attention to himself. In theory, it would be better he didn't wear them if he didn't want to be noticed but it left him feeling queasy. Well at least wearing his jacket alleviated his worry.

But it's not like anyone would notice anyway.

.

That had been how he had thought way back. Before he met the Generation of Miracles. Before he discovered how much he loved basket.

The teal-haired teen had been perfectly fine. With nobody noticing his dirty secret. With or without wristbands. Though now that summer was nearer…it would be his first time without his jacket on. But he very much doubted anyone would see it.

And how the Generation of Miracles was turning out…

Kuroko very much doubted _they'd _worry even if they saw his old scars.

Everything had been fine, until basketball had arrived. The moment he stepped into court a wave of anxiousness hit him. And when Akashi told him to go get the practice balls, when he held the object of attention in his own hands he silently freaked out and all but dove for his schoolbags and searched for his familiar wristbands.

"Kurokocchi? What's that?" A curious Kise had approached the blue haired phantom. Tetsuya tensed, not quite happy he had gained the model's attention. He tugged at them to get them to a better position.

"An accessory." Was his curt reply. He had forgotten, he hadn't really played on court much so he hadn't needed to bring them out. The blonde dramatically formed an 'o' with his mouth, before smiling brightly at him and retreating to warm up.

"Heh, I never would have thought Kurokocchi would be interested in stuff like that."

"Please don't misunderstand. I dislike getting sweaty." But Kise had already stopped paying attention to him. The door suddenly slid open and Momoi entered the building.

"Guys, I've got a phone call from our coach, he told me to tell you that he'll be a little late and that you should begin practice like usual. But keep it light!" There was a general murmur of compliance as they did as told.

"Oi, Tetsu, you coming?" Aomine said, turning to him as he began to stand up. Apparently he had no complaints today and was going to stay to practice. It had started being fewer and fewer the days he actually came _and _practiced. Not like the others seemed to care much.

"Yes. Right away."

All that mattered was winning after all.

* * *

The fourth time around, a long time after, he had been depressed. Teiko had had another victory but Tetsuya had done absolutely nothing. His teammates didn't pass him any balls and he barely had been able to steal the ball. By the end of the second quarter, the boy had been all but wheezing for air. By mid-third quarter Akashi had benched him. The victory still had been rotund.

The Generation of Miracles didn't actually need him to win. He had known that.

The Teiko team tripled their opponents' score. And Kuroko had not had a hand in that.

The light to his shadow had marked points nonstop, looking bored. He hadn't needed him.

As the blade dug into his wrist, he closed his eyes relishing in the pain. It hurt more this time. Perhaps the blade and his body knew he deserved punishment. This time he made sure not to dig in too far.

"_Kurochin, you're being a bother today."_

He yanked the blade away to cut into a different zone.

"_Tetsu, are you trying to prove to someone that you're weak? 'cause you're doing a damn good job at it."_

He didn't know what had happened today. _Why _it had happened. Why had he done so _bad_? Tetsuya was sure nobody in the crowd had noticed, he was sure the opposing team hadn't noticed.

"_Tetsuya, what could possibly be the reason, for your bad performance this evening?"_

But his team certainly did.

Three shallow gashes joined the growing collection of scabs and scars. The pain made him feel a little better. Which was wrong. The pain those cuts brought was a punishment for being so bad at basketball.

He let the wounds close by themselves.

* * *

"…It seems you've grown very fond of those wristbands of yours, Tetsuya." Akashi's melodious voice carried a hint of mocking to him. The team —minus Aomine — was getting ready to go home and the teal haired teen had been almost finishing packing up.

"Ah, Akashi-kun…so it looks like." Kuroko answered, trying not to look as nervous as he felt. He tugged softly at his left sweatband. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason, but I do hope they're not hampering your efficiency." Kuroko froze in the process of lifting his bag. "Well, just make sure they don't. Bye then, Tetsuya."

The short teen waited motionlessly, bag slung over a shoulder, for his captain's steps to leave. He heard the gym door opening and-

"Oh, and Tetsuya? You dropped something. Make sure to take care of it. We wouldn't like it to get infected, now would we?"

And with that he left.

Kuroko's eyes immediately went to the floor, scanning it and promptly found a fallen, bloody bandaid. Apparently it had come off a little while ago.

Mouth set into a thin line, the invisible boy lifted it up and crushed it in his fist.

.

* * *

"Here." A cold can of juice had been suddenly thrust into his face. A startled invisible teen, drew back to see who had appeared so suddenly.

"Ah, thank you Momoi-san." Kuroko said, relaxing his shoulders and accepting the can.

"Hehe, it was nothing!" The girl said cheerfully, before letting her smile dim. "Ne, Tetsu-kun, are you alright?"

"Eh?" The short male exhaled, surprised. Momoi sat down next to him with a sigh, carrying another closed can for herself.

"Gomen, it's just that… Well, you looked really upset in our last match and…Tetsu-kun, is something wrong?"

"Ah-No!" Kuroko had raised his head in surprise at hearing that, before a small smile curved his lips in a self-mocking way. At hearing the pink-haired girl's question, he snapped out of it with a start. "I'm sorry, but please don't worry about me, there's nothing wrong…"

"But of course there is!" Momoi snapped standing up, suddenly looking furious. "Tetsu-kun, I don't care if you end up h-hating me, but I will insist until you tell me what's wrong with you! It's really not like you to miss practice or-or not answering any texts nor answering the door even though I know you're there. And when I do see you, all you do is-is stare at me with those dead eyes…"Momoi's lip trembled as she reached up to wipe the tears out of her eyes. "I'm-I'm not blaming you, I…I'm just really worried about you and-"

"Thank you." Came the boy's muffled voice. Momoi noticed just then that Kuroko had buried his face in his hands. "Thank you." He repeated.

"T-Tetsu-kun?" The girl sniffed looking worried. She timidly placed a hand on the boy's shoulder, trying to comfort him.

"I know it's wrong to be happy about this. But I'm…"

'_I'm really happy that you're worried about me, that you _care.'

"Ah- I'm really sorry."

"Tetsu-kun? Please don't apologize. I think it's alright that you're glad I worried about you. It's normal. I would be happy too. " The pink haired coach said softly as if she had just read his mind. "Even more so if at the end, Tetsu-kun would declare his undying love for me." She giggled.

The teal haired teen's head snapped around quickly, to face her. "What?"

The girl blushed. "A-ah, it was- a joke, a joke!"

"You'd really be happy if I…" He trailed off, unbelief clear on his face and the analyst caught on quick.

"Yeah, I mean, if Tetsu-kun honestly considers me important, he'd worry if anything happened to me, ne?"

"Am…" '_Am I important to you, then?' _Kuroko bit his tongue, his pale cheeks a furious shade of red.

"I think you know the answer to that! Now, let's go get some milkshakes!" Momoi stood up, a fist to the air, trying and succeeding to make the other laugh.

'Ah, what a beautiful sound. ' Momoi thought with a smile.

.

* * *

Tetsuya was practicing basket late at school. After that last game…no he won't dwell on it any longer, he just wanted to give himself a bit more practice. And he considered the idea of scoring himself. Yes, he was a little below average but, he hadn't really tried too hard since discovering his Misdirection. Learning to be an active member may help. If he could manage to score of course…

_Thunk._

Ah, that was his tenth ball. Total score: zero. Tetsuya grimaced a little, missing ten out of ten was a bit too much, even for him. He picked up another ball. He positioned himself. He closed his eyes as he pictured how Kise stood, how Midorima gently folded his wrists, how Aomine's muscles tensed…

'_Okay. I think I got this.'_

A step. A jump. The ball flew-

And a searing pain burned in his wrists.

Yelping, Tetsuya clutched his left wrist —which hurt far worse — and saw how the ball cleanly missed its target. Uncharacteristically cursing under his breath, he focused on tearing the sweaty wristbands away from his wounds and he held in a wince.

They were bleeding again. The skin surrounding the wounds looking unhealthy, almost turning to alarming colors.

"…_but I do hope they're not hampering your efficiency."_

The phantom sixth man held his breath at recalling his captain's comment. The redhead knew about his wrists… but he couldn't be right, could he?

Ignoring his wrists, he picked up a ball. As much as a genius as Akashi was, he couldn't be right on this, could he?

The ball missed. Tetsuya picked another.

"_Make sure to take care of it. We wouldn't like it to get infected, now would we?"_

A miss. He did a quick recount —_twelve balls —_ before grabbing another one.

As much as the shogi lover was usually correct, he couldn't always be, right?

Miss. He picked up another almost before the first one bounced once on the floor.

"_I am expecting nothing less than perfection from you, alright?"_

Miss. Shot.

Could he face his teammates like this? This was way under perfection. It didn't even reach its feet.

So many balls were bouncing on the area and _none _had entered.

"_Akachin, you always say that you don't want 'our best' but perfection. So, it's alright how I play, right? As long as I score, I can be however I like, then?"_

Miss. Shot. Miss. shot.

Why was there a building sensation on his stomach and the back of his throat?

"_Now you're playing for real. You'll be entering tournaments with opponents worthy of challenging you guys. Now, don't forget the rules of taking care of yourselves. An injured basketball player can't play and thus can't win-"_

He stared at his bloody wrists and palms…

What had he done?

He saw blood trickling down his injured wrists…

What hadhe _done?_

Tetsuya threw the ball down with unknown strength, releasing part of his pent up anger in a frustrated yell. The ball bounced away from him. His hearing was filled with bouncing balls. Balls that just wouldn't go _in._

Oddly enough, someone screamed.

"Tetsu-kun?! Your arms-! " The boy had to blink several times, realizing his eyes had filled with tears and couldn't focus on Momoi. Tired, he managed a polite smile at her.

"Good evening, Momoi-san."

"Tetsu-kun…" The girl mumbled faintly, before running forward hastily, kicking several stray balls in the process. She registered at the back of her mind the quantity of balls littering the floor. She shakily grabbed her crush's arm and was surprised when he jerked his —_bleeding _— arm away from her as a phantom fear crossed his features-

"…What's going on?" The analyst asked, her hand —god, she was trembling — still raised, holding nothing. "Tetsu-kun, l-let me see your arms, you need to be treated and-"

"Momoi-san, calm down, it's not as bad as it seems, it's just me being s-stupid."

"Tetsu! Don't say that! You're not stupid. now let me see that…please…Tetsu-kun…"

With a soothing voice, Momoi started coaxing the boy as if he were a timid animal that would run off at a moment's notice. And when the girl gasped, horrified at what she saw, the teal haired teen just sighed, detached gaze avoiding hers.

"Tetsuya, this-!"

"I don't know why you worry so much. I just got a couple scratches from playing with cats…."

_SLAP_

A numb Kuroko raised his free hand to touch his hurt cheek, eyes as distant as before.

"Don't you dare lie to me about this, Tetsuya!" Huh. She was using his full name a lot this evening. Kuroko wondered why, as he tried not to focus on other less pleasurable things. "Look at me! What is the meaning of this? Please tell me you haven't been cutting yourself-!"

"I'm sorry." A rise in his voice finally revealed some emotion despite himself. Momoi seemed a little less intent on yelling.

"For what? Why are you apologizing? Please tell me something, please talk to me, I want to know. I want to help you. Why won't you let me?"

"…" A mumble. And then Tetsuya's lips were sealed. But Momoi had heard perfectly.

"_Because I'm not worth it."_

The girl pulled a tense boy close to her, one hand rubbing soft circles in his back and the other, combing through his hair.

"Please don't say that. You're worth so much more than you think."

"B-but my wrists…I injured my playing skills…" The phantom player finally admitted, fear gripping his insides.

"Cuts heal, Tetsu. Everything can be healed." The pink-haired teen reassured the other in a low mumble.

"But what if I don't…"

"We just have to see what can be done right now. Let's worry about the future when we get there."

Somehow, Tetsuya could find it in himself to forgive himself. Just a little bit. Just a bit…

* * *

.

.

What was this… since when was Aomine so _strong_?

The sixth man stared numbly at his teammate who seemed shocked himself. His gaze went to the scoreboard, to the opposing team and stopped there. They seemed so defeated. They had given up when in the third quarter they were 60 points behind.

His gaze dropped to his team's captain and found _he _didn't seem all that surprised, just contemplative. Akashi rarely was surprised apparently. Because most of the time he already had expected and foresaw the result.

Nonetheless, they had won. Kuroko ran up to his childhood friend and held up his fist.

"Well done, Aomine-kun."

Said blue haired teen just stared blankly at him, then at the scoreboard. Something seemed to break inside him as when the boy turned his gaze back there was an immense apathy…

"Aomine-kun…?" Kuroko said in concern, fist still held high. The taller teen raised his fist hesitatingly before glancing again at the scoreboard. Shoulders hunching forward, Aomine dropped his fist before walking ahead.

"Nobody can defeat me." And Kuroko felt a pressure crushing him with those words.

"The only one who can beat me is me."

* * *

.

.

Wow. This was high. How did people manage to get over the feeling of being so high up? …But the persons he had in mind had nothing else, and in their fall, the distance would only grow smaller.

Tetsuya grimaced as he imagined the pain they'd felt in their last moments. Ugly way of dying in his opinion. But…it sure must feel nice….feeling weightless for a moment. And knowing that in the end, he'd escape from his problems.

His wrists throbbed. Suddenly aware of how close he was of actually _falling _he backtracked from the school railing. As he idly scratched his wrists, the door to the roof opened behind him to reveal a towering figure.

"Kurochin? What are you doing up here?" In between munches, Murasakibara asked, eyebrow tilted upwards.

"The same could be asked to you. School's over, Murasakibara-kun." Was the plain comeback. Right now he wasn't in the mood to deal with him. He was surprised however, when a bag of chips was shoved in his face.

"I'm eating." Kuroko's face betrayed no emotion besides the questioning arched eyebrow as he accepted the bag of chips. "Something interesting down there?"

"I can see that. Why aren't you home, then?" Kuroko said, as he ignored the other's question. He glanced down at the bag of chips. Huh, weird, it was a brand he liked…"Murasakibara-kun?"

"I'm waiting for Akachin. He's taking so long…" The tall teen answered, in a drawling voice. "Hey, hurry up and eat that."

"…No thank you. I'm not hungry, you can have it back." Feeling uncomfortable with the attention, the boy tried to give the bag back but Murasakibara didn't take it.

"Don't wanna." At that childish reply, Kuroko was left without anything else to say. He sighed. Knowing what was for the best, he opened the bag and started eating. Murasakibara eyed him critically. "I still don't get why you like those, Kurochin."

"I don't get why you dislike them so much either….By the way, may I ask why did you have these when you don't like them?"

"I mistook them for something else. " The teal haired teen arched an eyebrow at him, but it went ignored as Murasakibara added: "Oh. Akachin's down there. I have to go then, Kurochin, he's my ride." As he passed him, the purple haired boy affectionately messed the other's hair. "See ya."

"See you tomorrow."

Kuroko lingered on the rooftop for a little while, before he hurried downstairs, it was getting late. The half-empty bag of chips was tightly clutched to his chest.

As fake as it was, the encounter still managed to brighten Tetsuya's mood.

.

* * *

Hating himself was so easy it was unfair.

The teal haired teen mused, as he laid in the darkness of his room. His hands were outstretched, as if trying to grasp the ceiling above him, and with just a small tilt, he could see his ugly scars staring back at him.

It's not like he'd ever wanted to hate himself. It just happened, he just one day realized how worthless he really was and…Tetsuya sighed tiredly, before a thoughtful look crossed his face. The beginning of that feeling, now that he thought about it, was similar to the beginning of his self-hurting.

Unexpected and recurrent.

Huh. So that was the most exciting part of his life? But maybe he should start cutting back on that. He knew it was hurting Momoi —the only other person who knew about it and _cared_— and she didn't deserve that. Tetsuya wanted to see her smiling again. The cheery girl worried too much about him. She deserved better. Better friends than Tetsuya, a better crush than Tetsuya. Thinking critically, the boy didn't think it would be much of a challenge to meet those standards.

The boy cringed. As much as Momoi would be better off like that, Tetsuya didn't want her to leave him. He didn't want that one day, Momoi would come up to him and state that she was tired of taking care of such a worthless guy like him and then announce she had better thing to worry about and leave him to die. Okay, he was being dramatic, leave him alone once again. He didn't want that to happen —who would? — but he was almost expecting it to come true.

'_I mean, it's not like it is Momoi's job. She has no obligation to take care of me. And I wouldn't blame her if she stopped…'_

But he didn't want her to. The phantom boy was scared that that could happen. And it confounded and repulsed him in equal measure.

What kind of disgusting, horrible being would want his friend to keep suffering because of him? But Tetsuya didn't want her to suffer, but rather he wanted her to be happy, but alsonot leave him.

And with that, a thought came crashing by, erasing…no, condensing every single thought he had had this evening in one sentence:

'_I also want to be happy.'_

The suddenness of that made Tetsuya stop breathing for a second. Just before a sob tore free from him. And then another. And then another.

'_I want to be happy, as selfish as it may be, I want to be happy. I never meant to start hating myself…'_

Why was hating himself much easier than being happy?

'_But do I even deserve being happy?'_

And Tetsuya fell into a fitful slumber, the thought running loose in his dreams, waiting to find an answer soon.

* * *

.

"Tetsu-kun, can we talk?" Momoi asked, sweet as always, as she poked her head into the cafeteria, from which Kuroko was just about to exit.

"Certainly, where would you like to go, Momoi-san?" Ever polite, Kuroko inquired, a water bottle dangling from his arm. The pink haired girl hummed in thought.

"Hmm, let's go to the rooftop, then."

"We aren't allowed up there, Momoi-san." Kuroko reminded her, but as always, the girl smiled and replied:

"Don't worry, they won't find us, Tetsu-kun!"

Once they both had discreetly snuck into the roof, Momoi started with a "How are you, have your wrists healed already?"

"I'm fine. In general. How about you, Momoi-san?" Kuroko was vague as always about his condition, thing that Momoi didn't like, going by the pout on her lips, but —surprisingly— she didn't pry.

The Teiko's basket team manager kept up an amiable conversation going for a little bit longer before falling into a pensive silence. Kuroko patiently waited for her to gather her ideas.

"We're…we're graduating soon, Tetsu-kun…" She started, receiving a quick nod from the other. Momoi tilted her head before asking, "Do you have any schools in mind?"

"I'm not sure. But it must have basket." The male answered a glint of determination on his eyes. Momoi giggled.

"I guess it's the same for all of us, huh? We're too much of a basketball nuts haha." She joked, ( ignoring the other's quiet comment of "Aomine-kun is the only nut brain though…") before she sobered up. "You know, Aomine-kun has his eyes set on Tohou School, I've heard it's a nice school, and that their basket practice courts aren't too shabby either! The current team is lacking a bit, but once I get them moving a bit…huhu, I bet we'll go national in no time~!"

"So you're going to Tohou, then?"

"A-ah, about that…Aomine-kun asked me to go with him, and it's a good opportunity…But…"

"What's wrong?" The male was quick to inquire, not getting why she would be doubting.

"Tetsu-kun, would you like to join Tohou Academy with us?" The slight widening of eyes was the only giveaway to his shock. Was she really asking that? Him going with… Aomine? Kuroko didn't even have to look at the girl to know she had written 'Please' all across her face. Feeling terrible yet decided, the teen inhaled before saying:

"…I apologize. But I already decided I won't join any school that any of the Generation of Miracles will be attending."

"Oh, okay." Momoi accepted easily, apparently trying not to look crestfallen. Before the other could voice his concern—or even apologize again— she added: "Then where are you going?"

"Seirin."

"EH!?"She exclaimed, completely taken by surprise. "But they haven't done anything noteworthy except last year and not even then did they reach the nationals!?"

"Quite the analyst as always, Momoi."

The girl blushed at that, knowing she had overreacted. "But, Tetsu-kun, are you sure?"

"Most likely."

"I shouldn't have hoped for a better answer from you…Oh well then, Seirin will have to be grateful to you though! We'll be taking them to the nationals with no effort!"

"Momoi, but you're going to Tohou?" Kuroko's statement ended in an upward tilt, clearly stating his confusion.

"Hmm, I told Aomine-kun that I'd think about it. But I very much prefer attending the same school as you!"

"No Momoi-san, it would be much better for you if you attend Tohou, that's the school you want to go to, am I right?"

"E-eh, but…"

"Momoi-san, thank you. I am very grateful to you, but please don't choose another school except for the one you want to be in. Less so, because of me."

"Well and what if the school _I_ want to be in is the school you want to be in?"

"Then, I'll have to ask you a favor."

"…A…favor?"Momoi repeated in a hushed tone, a feeling of disappointment already sinking in.

"Please attend Tohou with Aomine-kun ; he'll be needing someone to keep him from going astray."

And for a few, brief seconds, Momoi hated Tetsuya for saying that.

* * *

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx— The Basket Which Kuroko Plays—xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

* * *

Kuroko stole and passed. Kagami got the ball perfectly and dunked almost before his senpais even knew what hit them.

"Nice, Kuroko!" he shouted to the panting teen giving him a thumbs up when he passed by his side.

"Wow, his passes are seriously amazing, and I didn't even see him steal!" Koganei was saying, replaying his last moves with the ball. Hyuga hit him in the head.

" You should be less impressed, and more concerned on how to avoid it, idiot! Hey, everyone, don't stop now, we can't allow to be beaten by our kohais, now can we?" that was followed by cheers and grunts of agreement.

They kept scoring and as Kagami started getting too deep into the game, the rest of the first years were left without much to do, even though they were fewer than their senpais. Hyuuga smirked with every three-pointer he made, and the game generally flowed smoothly, the score-board slowly leaning towards the upper-classmen.

Nobody had yet noticed but Kuroko wasn't on court any longer. He had halted, a little off bounds to regain his breath, hands resting on his knees.

His ragged breathing and hunched form went unnoticed as the game heated even more.

Kuroko was beginning to catch his breath when he recalled the red headed teen's comment from before.

_"Nice, Kuroko."_

For some reason it became harder to breath.

"_Nice pass, Tetsu!"_

A choked sob escaped his lips and before he knew it, tears were gathering in his eyes and his pants became small panicked gasps.

Kuroko hurried to the benches, to pick up his jacket and Nigou before hurrying outside.

.

"Oi, Kuroko, what's wrong? They're getting ahead of us!" Kagami growled to his side, slightly annoyed that his shadow hadn't passed the ball to him in a while.

"Um, Kuroko's not behind you, Kagami-kun."Tsuchida pointed out, even as he blocked his way. This made Kagami pause and give a quick glance around. Surprised, he stood up straighter, abandoning his efforts to get through Tsuchida. Said teen looked at him questioningly.

"Oi, where's Kuroko?"

"Well, Bakagami, he's right…huh? He's not here?" Hyuuga had started mockingly only to realize that the phantom player wasn't where he thought he was.

"Eh? Then who has been passing to Kagami-kun?"

"Wait, you're saying he wasn't here since the beginning?"

"Where _is _Kuroko?"

"Oi, oi quit your chatting and get on with the game," Riko had returned from getting her notebook, and was getting ready to chastise her boys. " and Kuroko, I think you're not taking enough active part in the game, is it because your stamina is… Ara? Kuroko-kun's not here?"

As the members realized that, the game started to drift off their minds. With a quick scan they found the boy's bag still on the bench so they knew he couldn't have left yet.

"…Maybe he went to the bathroom?"

"Huh? In the middle of a game? What about the nurse office, perhaps he felt ill."

"That little bastard, I'll kill him for ditching us like that." The threat —issued by a ticked off Kagami — cut trhough their questions.

"Mou, no use delaying, we'll have to search for him, then. I want you two to head to the bathrooms, you two to the nurse's office, Mitobe-kun please check the lockers, the rest, I want you to check the rest of the school. Now, off you go!"

Kagami had been in the process of putting on his outdoor shoes when a nauseous smell reached him from somewhere close. His left foot entered his shoe, stomping down with a frowned nose and it felt _wet_. The teen looked down to see a small yellow puddle near his shoes, or rather soaking his shoes…

"KUROKO!"

* * *

The boy had sat down, semi-curling up, hugging his legs and with his head propped on his knees.

The boy looked tired. And indeed he was. But also… conflicted.

The boy missed his friends from Teiko. And Kagami was a painful reminder of a younger Aomine that loved basketball more than anyone, and was always laughing and playing with Tetsuya.

He sighed. Tetsuya rubbed the inside of his wrist almost absently. It had been a long while since he had last cut himself. It had started on middle school, because no one noticed him. Then he found the ones that were going to be the Generation of Miracles and he felt a part of them. He had friends. He was happy. He had almost forgotten that lonely scar on his wrist.

But when his friends started to drift away, becoming alien to him, alien to them. His only outlet had been his cutting.

And at last, they were gone.

Left him alone.

Ah. He was tired of it all.

'_I had thought I was already over this…' _The phantom player buried his head once again on his knees.

'_Stupid Bakagami. Stupid Aomine-kun. Stupid me.'_

* * *

.

"_Basketball is not a one man sport_." Kuroko had said, calm even as Kagami had hoisted him by the shirt's neck. Kagami's cheek throbbed just like his anger throbbed inside him. Back then, he had been an ass, just like the Generation of Miracles.

"_There is no meaning if you win alone!" _ Kagami had been so angry at the moment that it didn't occur to him that the small boy spoke out of experience. His voice was still plain, and his face just showed the smallest of frowns but Kuroko had lost control. His manner of speech, his composure but most of all, his eyes…

"_You want to defeat the Generation of Miracles, but you think just like _them!" It took the Basket Tiger quite a few hours, in the comfort of his house to identify the emotions screaming in them.

He had disappointed the teen. His eyes were disapproving.

"_In that case, what's 'victory'?"_

His eyes showed fear. And not because Kagami had just hit him. Pain didn't even seem to register. Physical pain at least. Because if the red head was sure of something was that there was a huge assed inner turmoil inside their phantom ace.

"_If no one's happy, then what's 'victory'?!"_

A surprising amount of anger was also present.

Kagami had had time to reflect on that, wondering on the past that brought such emotions on Kuroko. And because he had pondered about it, it was much easier to detect similar sentiments when he found the disappeared teen.

"Kagami-kun? What are you doing here?"

But now he lacked the anger and he looked… empty. The red haired teen sighed. And cuffed him in the head.

"Your dog pissed on my shoes." He said, far less angry than he would have liked. The invisible boy looked up at him in surprise. "Right now, I'm really mad at both of you."

"I apologize?" Kuroko ended up saying with an upward tilt at the end, looking slightly lost.

"Well, that's not getting my shoe clean, is it? But whatever, what are you doing here?" _Alone _is what he really meant, but the meaning was the same. "Coach got all of us searching for you."

"I apologize for being trouble. But after Nigou made a mess, I just had to take him outside, lest anything else happened." And just then, the eternally scowling teen noticed a certain dog peeking his head from behind his owner.

"Oi, don't go making any excuses! What happened? Why are you looking at me like that? More like, why do you look so down? Was it the Generation of Retards again?" Tetsuya gaped at him. Nailed it. "So it was them, did anyone come or something?"

"…I don't know what you're talking about."

"Like hell you don't. Hey, you know, your poker face has been slipping more and more often…" Kuroko flinched. "Listen here, don't go making this anymore awkward. So it's best to be direct about it. Why are you here? I know Nigou has nothing to do with it."

"…I just needed to breathe fresh air."

"Why?" The red head insisted.

"…I just…I got reminded of Aomine-kun, that's all." The phantom boy confessed, now very mindful of keeping his poker face intact.

The silence stretched between them uncomfortably. Then the red haired teen slapped his head.

"What's that for!" Kuroko's neck snapped around to fully face Kagami and he frowned at him in bewilderment.

"For being a retard." The red head answered in a matter-of-factly tone. The shorter teen huffed looking away. But before he could say anything at all-

Cuff.

"Now what!" Kagami nearly sniggered at the other's indignation, but he didn't in face of Kuroko's near-glare (he appreciated his life, thank you very much).

"For disappearing mid-game! Do you know how awkward it was when you suddenly weren't there?!"

"I didn't disappear. I walked out." Kuroko dead-panned, a satisfied look replacing his irritation. It was always nice annoying the other teen.

"Ugh, you irritating smart-ass…" Kagami muttered darkly as he pulled a headlock on Kuroko, ignoring the other's protest with a snigger. A while later, he added: "Did…things end so bad with you and Aomine?"

"…No." The phantom player replied dully only for the headlock to strengthen. "Kagami-kun, that hurts…"

"Yes, and that's why you disappear mid-game when you remembered him. Not a problem with him, huh." Was the snarky reply, the taller teen completely ignoring the other's complaints.

"Kagami-kun…" Kuroko muttered in exasperation. "Do let go."

"Planning on telling me something? If not, I'm not letting go."

"…Why are you so insisting?" Kuroko questioned, an edge of irritation slipping in his voice before he sighed in defeat. " I just…Aomine-kun has always been a basket fan or at least was before he _blossomed_ and you just remind me so much of how he was."

"What. That's it?"

"Yes. Now, will you be so kind as to remove your arm?" The teal haired teen experienced a minute relief when the pressure on his head relieved only for a brief second before plopping down on his shoulders. "Kagami-kun?"

"From what I know about him, I'm not sure on what to think about reminding you of Aomine, but, how do I say it, uh… you're basically telling me you see me as your friend, am I wrong?" A strange knowing look had slipped on Kagami's face as he tweaked a little the words to come up with… a truth. Kuroko avoided his eyes so he missed the other's shake of his head. "Embarrassed, are we?"

Kuroko idly scratched his inner wrist, even as he gave his best deadpanned look at the Basket Tiger.

"…Kuroko, did you get- oi, what's all this?" The red youth's rise in alarm startled Kuroko. He was quickly informed of the reason for Kagami's alarm when said teen grabbed his left wrist —the black sweatband slipping a little more— yanking it away from him.

"…Occupational hazards." The ghost player managed to mutter.

"Occu-? What the hell are you talking about, this-!"

"_This, "_ Tetsuya emphasized, feeling his heart on his throat, "this, is merely stuff from the past. A sort of memento if you like."

The Basket Tiger gave him a doubtful look mingled with worry. "You sure? Only from the past?" At Tetsuya's nod, Kagami grunted, before giving his wrist a last critical look and letting go. Instead, he ruffled the other's hair. "Alright then. I'm holding on to your words though." And that was it. He was still concerned, but he didn't pry any further. If his hold tightened slightly, and if he kept an extra careful eye on the other ever since, well, Kuroko couldn't blame him. Instead, the lithe teen relaxed in the other's hold.

"I'll keep my word. Thanks." And so, with the unspoken promise made, both teens let the matter drop. There wasn't much more to say. Tetsuya, then mumbled, "and I'm going to beat all of the Generation of Miracles…If they could just know defeat, then…"

"Hey! That's _my_ goal!"

"Ah, really?" Kuroko deadpanned mockingly.

"You little…I'll defeat them, you're too weak!"

"No way. I can do it." The shorter teen stubbornly rebutted.

"First you'll need to get those wrists of yours checked. You need to up your god-awful stamina, and _then _you can try to say that again. And about any future encounter with Aomine-" Kuroko laughed as he stopped Kagami from speaking any further. Before an irked red-head could retort or continue arguing about that, the whole of Seirin's basket team —coach included— appeared with exclamations.

"Coach, we've found them!"

"Bakagami! Why didn't you tell us right away that you had found Kuroko!"

"Oi, Kuroko where were you?"

"Ah…I..well, you see-" Kagami started out nervously, before he felt a nudge from Tetsuya.

"I was trying to save Nigou from Kagami. " The teal haired teen said in the general direction of the approaching team, holding his dog as evidence. Then, he half turned to the red-head, locking eyes with him.

"Kagami-kun, I'll support this team. We'll defeat the Generation of Miracles. And about everything else…"

"And what about Aomine? What will you do when you see him again?" The Basket Tiger cut in.

"_We'll worry about the future when we get there_." And Kuroko smiled. His wrists were finally healing, along with himself. Nobody needed to know how low he had fallen. They just needed to know he was going to rise.

So, he'd wear those black wristbands a little longer. Until he was ready to face it.

He had time. He had basket. He had friends. He was happy.

For once, it was alright. It was going to be alright.

**The End**

* * *

**A/N**

**That was quite long…waaay longer than I would have expected. So? Like it? Hate it?**

**Any sort of feedback is greatly appreciated. (Meaning, REVIEW~!)**

**Btw, I had no clue what to put as Title nor summarY...any thoughts on them?**

**Thanks for reading!**


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